So, I guess I'll start updating again because...I am mobile!

That's right ladies and gentlemen...Foxie has finally scored a new laptop. It's like Christmas.

Serious business will ensue. I'm also on the Facebook now...as a professional; neat eh? Fox Diller.

Expect more updates...

.fox

Tags: zing
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Sultans Of Swing // Money For Nothing by Dire Straits

So what happened?

Two years is a long time, isn't it?

Well, I took charge of my life, en mass. Took the initiative and did what I've always wanted to do.

Is it what I wanted?

Oh god, yes.

Would have I changed the past?

No, no, no. Just learned from it, big time.

.fox

Tags: mew
Current Location: Outer Space
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: AC

I cannot say without a doubt that it wasn't all my fault. There is always a need for two parties to create a wrong, otherwise something singular remains either right or wrong. I however have the facts to feel closure about the past, and to move along forward (at a speed that would make a roadrunner cringe).

My official word on the statement is that I was lied too, and used for my financial and emotional stability to be a shoehorn to anothers point-of-view; and I never saw it until now. I wasn't aware of this at the time, and was under the impression that I wasn't working for something in vain, but more for love. I was blind, but I trusted the feeling and not the person. My impression and conscious took a backseat to what would've been otherwise a wise decision to tell the person to "Fuck off!" or "Get cancer and die." I left left myself blind to it, because I believed in them; woe to that fact. I should have listened to the old adage that "To believe in ones self, is to attain wisdom." but I shielded my eyes from the facts.

The fairy-tale land that I lived in was shambles ridden with self-doubt and self-hate from the lack of proper attention I deserved. I let it eat away at me and suddenly the little voice had a better point-of-view then what I was forced to ingest as "The way it is.". It suggested that I was too fat or too ugly to deserve the attention, or that I need to dramatically change my attitude or view to subject myself again to rejection.

While off on our voyages, there would be riffle with deceit showing just how well I was treated. It's over now, and truth be told I learned a lot from it. I learned that people are not perfect, and that the world is a scary and mean place.

It's not all bad though, like I said previously, I learned a lot from my experience and I'm better for it. All the people out there who want to ask me questions, refer to this.

Tags: meow
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Rush - Closer To The Heart

You ever feel that no matter what, you're just content with things.

I'm helping out a good friend with something that really put a dent in his plans, because of mismanagement. It's sad really, so I feel the need to help him. Poor puppy. :(

I was gazing through my friends pages, and most of you I've only known you online or only on LiveJournal. Even met a couple of you at cons, but never really got to know you at all, or any better. There are some friends that I have met and spent a considerable amount of time with. I miss you guys as well.

If you ever wanted too, even though I am so insanely busy, I would love to chitchat with you all. I'll keep an eye on these replies, I can do any instant messangers, and e-mail as well. It's all in my profile, kids.

Stay fuzzy and stay happy.

.fox

p.s. I'm happier then I've ever been in a long time, in case you're wondering. I'm helping a lot of people out, and hanging with my best friends. My mate is going to be here in 17 hours, and he's here for 2 weeks. If you wanna hang out with us, here in Vancouver, just drop me a line.

Current Location: Home
Current Music: 1.fm - Dance

There.

I was lied to.

Oh, I am so fucking turned off right now.

I don't know what to do.

I'm going to take some time for myself.

I knew I shouldn't have trusted them, that's what you get when you open up. Gods, I was such a fool.

I'm so glad I have my wuffy, he's helping me through it all.

He's the only person in this world I completely trust, and he's making me not regret it for once. God I love him.

.fox

P.S. Shame on you, you know who you are. :/

I love how things suddenly pull back and reveal themselves just like the layers of an onion. You see one layer, then another one behind it, and suddenly everything you thought you know is either a lie or a very elaborate truth. I ain't surprised, either; it's just odd now. I can see the fine lines between each comment, concern, and explanation. I don't want to pretend like I have any idea what's going on, other then a layer of deep concern.

The things I now know, doesn't change a thing, nevermore. Though I am scared, scared that I may only have one thing left in my tiny little world to cherish. He's there, and he's mine. I'm glad I have him, for he centers what I might consider my insane membrane.

There is one question, on this earth that will never be answered, why? I don't think anyone actually loves me enough to answer that...pity. I can answer it for myself.

.fox

It's funny, how you learn about people so quickly when they finally come into unadulterated contact. I wish I didn't know the things I know now, because I would have an entirely different opinion. Though, as life is generally hard, I'm just going to shrug and put it in the "What The Fuck Evah" bin. Life is too short, and the friends I do have, I should keep. I just hope I don't get dicked around again, like I was.

I am just going to enable a system to set myself so I don't get rejected, or hurt, by peoples rash decisions and idiot methods.

.fox

This is Staticfox, saying hello to all from Fox's house in Vancouver!!!!

I'm nearly 700 feet tall, and everyone else is off on a game of russian roulette! Where are my trousers?

Woe.

I wonder if I'll find my sock today. It's white, and normally warm.

Huh?

.fox